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Rockies Are Best


Each team can make a claim to the throne that is best franchise in the SWBL. The Brewers can point to their record number of Franchise of the Year awards, the Royals to their regular season success, the Twins to their post season success, etc. Below I will lay out 4 reasons why the Rockies claim to the throne of best franchise in The SWBL is the strongest while we all anxiously await Season 17.

1. The Rockies are the only team to consistently bat 5.

Since the addition of Brett Spencer is 2016, the Rockies have gone with a4-man batting line up exactly one time (the very first game of the Brett era). This is a true sign of putting the team first before individual stats, as it essentially guarantees one of the Spencer brothers will never win the MVP award despite consistent MVP caliber play. In the last 3 years, the Rockies player with the most ABs compared to the player with the most ABs on a similar run producing team has received on average 12 fewer ABs. Despite this fact, we’ll continue to trot 5 out each game, stats be damned.

2. An unprecedented level of success despite a consistently high level of inebreation.

See below graph (idea courtesy of Kyle Breda). Regular season success is measured on the X-axis, quantified as average wins per season, while inebriation is measured on the Y-axis, quanitified by my own estimation of alcohol consumption on a 1-100 scale. As you can see, the Rockies are tied for the 2nd most alcohol consumed while averaging the second most wins per season. The Rockies have been far drunker than the only team with more regular season wins (Royals), and have significantly more wins than the only team that exceeds their intoxication (Brewers). For a game that requires such a high level of hand-eye coordination when alcohol is known to reduce reflexes, timing, hand-eye coordination, etc. one could argue that this graph proves undoubtedly that the Rockies are the most skilled wifflers around.

3. Dedication to the Rockies brand.

Brett has a tattoo of the freaking Rocky Mountains on his arm and the Rockies play on Blake Street. I don’t see Peter with a Miller Light tattoo or the Royals playing on Gus Street.

4. Dedication to the SWBL.

While the Rockies surely aren’t the only franchise with a dedication to the SWBL, or even the most dedicated of all of the franchises, you will see Rockies players at The Blur from dawn to dusk every day over Memorial Day weekend enjoying a cold one or twelve, playing poles beyond the left field fence, infiltrating The Expos’ shanty town, and winning a lot of wiffle ball games in between.

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